Before the Race, I was set on never having kids. Nothing about being a mother seemed appealing to me, instead it only felt overwhelming. I decided that I wasn’t the woman for the job and wrote it off completely. After starting the Race in August, it wasn’t long before God started piling kids on my lap, often literally.
In Costa Rica, we had a handful of kiddos who regularly hung out around the church. Amanda was the middle child of a group of siblings that we spent a lot of time with. Her parents volunteered at the church all the time so the two of us would often sit and color, play card games, go on walks, and have wild dance parties and games of tag. I certainly had days when I was a bit overwhelmed by all the kids running around the church, but I never really seemed to get tired of Amanda and her sweet smile.
Nicaragua was a hard and surprising month for me. The surprises started when the Lord asked me to work with the boy’s program and spend my month in the classroom. I still had little interest in kids (and teaching for that matter), but I decided to obey, nonetheless. I regretted this decision pretty quickly when I realized that we were expected to play soccer with the boys every other day. On the first day, I noticed one of the boys sitting alone, not wanting to participate. We struck up a conversation (as much as we could with the language barrier) and I learned his name – Christian. From then on, Christian and I would hang out, playing cards or chess, whenever the other boys played sports. He is such an incredibly kind kid and so very smart. He was always eager to learn English, or a new game and his joy was beyond contagious. I was surprised to find that leaving Christian and the other boys at the end of the month was much harder than I thought it would be.
Colombia held even more surprises. We were constantly working with kids and youth ministry, we threw a huge kids party, and we spent most of our free time with the teenagers who stayed at the foundation. I was surprised by how much I actually liked the chaos of working with the kids. I found myself truly enjoying the time I spent doing silly dances and playing tag and getting playdough squished into my hair. It was weird how easy it was.
As I continued my time on the Race, the Lord kept bringing me kid after kid, slowly breaking down the walls that I had built around my heart. Now I’m leaning against the brick wall of an after-school program, surrounded by a hoard of children, practicing English. I feel comfortable, like this is the easiest thing in the world, and I love each one of these kiddos so deeply.
However, it wasn’t until the majority of the group headed home and I was left sitting next to 10-year-old Victor that I realized just how much God has redeemed kids for me.
Victor had been in my group to practice English, and he was by far one of the most advanced students. He was always ready with the right answer, even when it wasn’t his turn. As we sat against the wall, he started talking about his home life, how his parents are divorced, how he feels unloved by them, how he’s scared of making mistakes. I have no idea how long we sat there, but he just kept pouring out more and more of what was on his heart. Finally, Cass nudged me and reminded me that we should have left a while ago.
As we walked back to the church, I was lost in thought. I thought about how I wanted nothing more than to scoop up Victor and protect him. I thought of the Roma kids who had stolen my heart within a matter of minutes. I thought of all the Ukrainian kiddos that I had spent countless hours playing tag with and coloring. I thought of how much I would miss each and every one of them when I left Romania.
I’m completely blown away by how much my love for children has grown on the Race. Working with kids no longer sounds like a special kind of torture. I could have spent all day leaning up against that wall with Victor, listening to all he wanted to share.
